for keeps

we met with the geneticist, counselors, technicians, and perinatologists. hours were spent filling out paperwork, giving an extensive family history, and answering question after question. in the end we walked down the hall to a large, dimly lit room. on the wall hung huge, flat screen monitors. it was then that we saw you for the first time after learning that something was wrong. wrong enough that the doctor advised us most parents with our diagnosis choose to terminate their pregnancy. as she squeezed the warm gel on my growing belly, tears began to stream down my face soaking the pillow beneath me.

there you were in black and white.

and the choice to keep our pregnancy was too.